Struggling to Show Up Like You Deserve

I've been sitting with this for a while now, and I need to say it even if the words feel clumsy: I haven't been the friend to you that you've been to me. I know I've been distant, harder to reach, maybe even cold when you've reached out. That's on me, and it's not fair to you.

The truth is, I've been struggling to express what's going on inside my head, and instead of letting you in like a real friend does, I've just... pulled back. I can see how that would hurt, or confuse you, or make you feel like you did something wrong. You didn't. This is me being a coward about my own stuff.

I want to do better by you. You matter too much to me to keep this up. I'm going to work on being more present, more honest, and less afraid to be messy in front of you. You deserve a friend who shows up, not someone who disappears into their own head. I'm sorry it took me this long to say it.