A Heart Full of Regret and Sorry

Jaan, I don't even know where to start. I've hurt you, and I know sorry isn't enough—but it's all I have right now, and I mean it with everything in me.

I can see it in your face, in how you've pulled away, and that breaks me. Whatever I did, however I failed you—I feel it. I feel how much I let you down, and I hate that I'm the one who put that look there.

I'm sorry. Not the word repeated a hundred times, but the real thing—the kind that means I see what I did wrong and I'm going to do better. You deserve that. You deserve me to show up for you, and I didn't, and I'm so deeply sorry for that.

I love you. Please know that underneath all of this, that's the truth.